The REAL reason

I think that this is the real reson why I haven't been motivated to take pictures....I have been feel blue, down in the dumps, and maybe down-right depressed. I know a lot of times these posts that everyone puts up makes it seem like they live in the perfect world where there is always happiness, harmony...but lets face it, life is just not like that.

I knew that this was going to happen and I have been putting it off for quite a while. Weston wants me to get rid of Rose. She needs work and she is not that far from us, but it is still hard to get out to her....esp with little kids. People have offered to help watch them, but when ever I call on those people they say that they can't. And with winter coming Weston REALLY wants me to get rid of her.....now.

Sure it makes perfect sense. But I think of Rose as part of my family now.

I know some people that get a cat or a dog and then just get rid of it after a few months like it is nothing. And they do that over and over. I keep thinking why get a pet if you are not going to keep it and enjoy it. And if you didn't like it the first time...then why do it again!? (Sorry I am just getting some pent up bad-pet-owner frustrations out)

But for me (being a pet...no, let me make that an animal lover) once I get a pet it is and will always be part of my family. (My kids still talk about their pet hermit crabs that they had years ago). So I have been putting off putting her up for sale for a few weeks now. Today Weston asked me if I had done it yet and of course I said 'no. I can't bring myself to do it.' But I did it. I posted her on KSL. After church I find a message on my phone from someone who is interested in her. I can't bring myself to call her back so I tell Weston 'Your the one who wants Rose gone, so you call her back.' Well, for one thing I knew that I wouldn't be able to tell the person about Rose with out crying. So Weston makes the call and I keep waiting for him to set up a time for them to come take a look at her. It doesn't come. He just gets off the phone and says 'Well, she's sold.' I just started sobbing. Now I know some people may think that I am dumb for crying over her. But she is part of my family.....and now she is going to be gone. I love that horse and I just don't seem to handle loss of any kind well right now. And of course Ashlyn (my little horse lover) was right next to me sobbing her little heart out too.

And it kind of made me mad that they didn't even want to come and look at her. I instantly got scared that she is going to some meat-factory or (more likely) going to be turned into a brood mare making babies for the rest of her life. A few minutes later I feel a little better about them. Her husband calls and (talks to Weston, of course) says 'My wife just really wants a Paint and she is really excited, but we need to know a little more about this horse first.' I don't know why that made me feel a little bit better, but it did. Maybe it was because they were now seeming to be genuinely interested in her and wanted to get to know her before they even owned her and were just dieing to hear about the worlds greatest horse who is known to be really stubborn? Or maybe i am just wierd.

She is not gone yet. She will be here until Friday or Sunday. But I find that I can't even bring myself to go and see her yet. I know that I will just hang on her sobbing and brushing her and giving her lots of treats, spoiling her all I can these last few days with her.

Thanks for the memories Rose. Thanks for all of the learning experiences. Thanks for being able to help me find some solitude and peace out in the pasture with you.

But I guess some good will come of it. Weston said not to worry, I will get a horse again. Probably in a couple of years. (In fact we have been looking at houses with 1+ acres, but I want to stay in Farmington and there just isn't anything for sale right now here) But this time we will be moving to a house that is on atleast an acre so we can have the horse right there the whole time with us. And in the mean time Ashlyn and I will be taking horse backriding lessons so we can learn even more about these beautiful animals.

And believe me...In a couple of years I won't be forgetting to remind Weston about what he said about another horse. :)

All I have to say is that they better take good care of her or else I am taking her back!