Saturday, October 4, 2008

Day 276

Well, the day started out with me being really bitter and grumpy and in a mean mood and at first I couldn't figure out why, but then I realized that it was one of those days. The days where I know that it is tied to my dad somehow and I don't want to think about it....I am always in a foul mood on those days for some reason. Today was the day that I went to visit his grave site. Once we left the house I started to calm down, but I was getting frustrated again when I couldn't find just the right flowers to leave from myself and from different people.....everything just seemed to girly to me. So after going to several places I find some that I think might be suitable. So we head over the the cemetery and, as my luck would have it today, it is cold and rainy just as it was a year ago. After I got out of the car all the feelings and memories of those last few weeks of my dad's life came flooding back. I tried to push them away like I have done so often the past year, but they were overpowering and I gave in. I guess I could say that it felt good to get it out of my system. I found it hard, like I usually do, to leave the cemetery. But, with my husband and 3 kids sitting in the car wondering how long I am just going to sit there (and with Ella occasionally rolling down the window to yell stuff at me) I had to force myself to leave. My day brightened up when I found a little gift shortly after I left the cemetery...thank you! =) And then we headed up to Park City. Both Weston and I felt like we all needed to get away for a day. We listened to conference on the drive up and enjoyed the fall foliage in the canyons and enjoyed driving around the charming streets of Park City....too bad it was such a rainy day.

I am so very grateful for my dad. For the example that he set. For the person he was. For him being my hero. And I am grateful for all of the wonderful memories that I have of him and for the videos and pictures of him to help us to never forget.

5 comments:

Afreaka said...

I wish I could go to the cemetery with you. We could sit there together as long as we needed to.

Chickadee said...

me, too.

mjhay said...

I really didn't want to think about all this. But I guess I still have tears to cry. Beautiful flowers!

Dahle Family said...

Carrie, he is and will always be a great example to many people. Hold on to that and remember it is ok to feel sad and cry. We all miss him and even though I don't fully understand what it must be like for you, know that I am here for you and love you endlessly.

Colorado Kid said...

Isn't it great to have your dad be your hero and that your hero is a part of you and part of your girls (and your grandkids...). Sometimes the perfectness of the whole plan is so complicatedly amazing but so simple at the same time. In a way, you get to see him in the mirror everyday, along with your awesome mom.